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There’s been even more talk in the music community now! The violinists have come up with something. After last weeks riots, many were arrested, others realized that they should take their anger and confusion out on something new.
Many of the violinists have made these new yet strange devices that distorts the sound of their violins, making them sound louder and grittier. It’s like some sort of distorted sound. They all seem to be happier though so prepare for some upcoming performances!
Here’s where the Orchestra of Verona will be playing!
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January 1st |
Kalimdor |
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January 3rd |
Azeroth |
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January 4th |
Draenor |
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January 18th |
Northrend |
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January 23rd |
Teldrassil |
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February 8th |
Quel’Thalas |
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March 41st |
Lordaeron |
Men can be quite simple beings to some, complex creatures to others. They have ways of going about that women can’t understand. They also have some predictable mindsets which can give them away easily. Sometimes they come up with tactics to snatch up a girl. I present to you the simple 7 step guide, how to kiss by the book.
Step 1: Take a shower.
PLEASE. No one likes a smelly man. After this you can prep yourself up. Put on your best clothes, your best shoes and your favourite scent of man perfume. Now you can go out and find your lady.
Step 2: Find a lady.
Not as easy as it sounds, but it can be done. This isn’t a guide about how to find a lady however, so moving on to the next step!
Step 3: Introduce self to lady.
Don’t be afraid. Just be as charming as possible, even if you’re really not. Present your girl of choice with a flower and tell her how pretty she is. Exaggeration is the key; they fall for it every time.
Step 4: Ask her out.
When you ask her out, make it sound as mischievous as possible. Like, “Oh my god. Meet me at ____ at midnight and make sure nobody sees you!!!” so she thinks your brave and daring.
Step 5: Take her somewhere on a horse.
This is self explanatory. Take the girl on a ride somewhere on a horse, anywhere. Literally, it doesn’t matter. You could probably get away with going in a small circle. The feeling of being on a horse holding onto a man makes a girl feel like she’s being protected. They love that.
Step 6: Stage a robbery.
This will require some help from a friend. While on the way to your destination on your horse, have a friend jump out from behind a corner and stage a robbery. Pull out your “sword” (Which your friend or “Robber” will know is fake but your girl will not) and “stab” the man. Escape with your girl; this should guarantee a kiss, a girl loves a hero. In the event that you’ve chosen a fighter, and your girl attacks and kills the “robber” herself, flee, and start back at 1.
Step 7: Kiss her!
Take her back to your home. Tell her you need to change after the attack. Go inside, put on your spandex Spidey suit, and come out on your roof and repel down on a rope upside down behind her. Tap her shoulder so she turns around. Kiss her, while hanging upside-down from the rope. This works best when it’s raining.
Following these steps is a sure-fire way to get the woman you want. If you need some help, practice a few times on some willing guy friends. I guarantee success!!
Please note that I do not guarantee success and you will probably get your testicles squashed if you attempt this. Some side effects include: nausea, dizziness, moldy Spiderman costumes, diarrhea, a dead horse, a dead “robber” friend, any other injuries from swords and/or horses, a restraining order and of course heartbreak.
Yesterday evening, two deaths from rival families occurred at the Capulet’s Tomb. Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet tragically took their own lives out of love and heartbreak.
Romeo had been banished from Verona for killing Tybalt Montague earlier in the week. Later in that week, he had snuck back into Verona via horseback with Balthasar. They passed Friar Laurence’s messenger who wasn’t aware of their presence. At nightfall, Romeo and Balthasar arrived at the Capulet’s Tomb ,unbeknownst to the town.
There, Romeo found Juliet, unconscious, though he thought she was dead. Juliet had taken a drug earlier that made her seem dead and the effects would have worn off in a few hours. Romeo didn’t know of her plan or that she was just unconscious. Juliet had written him a letter explaining that it was just a drug but Romeo never received it. Juliet took this drug because Paris was going to marry her the next morning, so she figured that if she drank the potion, Romeo could come rescue her.
After Romeo thought she was dead, Paris appeared and the two had a sword fight, Romeo eventually killing Paris. After this victory, Romeo drank some poison and killed himself for his love. A few hours later awoke Juliet in shock and horror to see her lover lying dead next to her. She then tried to drink Romeo’s poison but there wasn’t enough left so she then kissed him to see if there was poison on his lips, but alas she took a dagger and stabbed herself.
“How could they do this? Can’t they see how selfish suicide is? They were both so young, not knowing what true love was but when the times got rough, they decided to end it all not thinking of anyone else. Couldn’t they see how much this would hurt us? Couldn’t they see how much it affects us all?” wept Lady Capulet, in the arms of Old Capulet.
The Capulets and the Montagues held a funeral for them all, ending their family vendetta as they could see how much it effected their children. They now live in harmony, but still grieve for their beloved children.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately, just contemplating about life, its values and such. What do we live for? What is our place on the earth? What would we kill a man for? I think I may have come to that conclusion. Love is the answer. Well… Love, money, success, blah blah blah. Human desire is what it comes down to. We were made to reproduce and somewhere along the way, some guy decided to put something interesting in our lives. Something wonderful yet horrid. Someone decided that looking for a mate took a little bit of attraction. Then staying around with that same person took a bit of commitment. Then there was a word for this pitiful thing. Love. It makes people just a bit crazy if not complete lunatics. People can’t control it; it’s just how they “FEEL”. Then there’s other “feelings”. Feelings of lust, of intense sexual desire, of losing control and not sticking around when the baby comes. Some people confuse this with love but it often turns disastrous.
I like to think of dear old Romeo as a fine example of lust. He lusted after Rosaline but when he couldn’t get her, he had to turn to someone else. Poor Juliet falls for this guy and quite soon, they die. They both killed themselves over each other. It’s ridiculous how they knew each other for such a little time, but fell so in “Love” that they literally couldn’t live without the other. Juliet should have seen through his “poor me” façade. Juliet was smarter than they all gave her credit for but in the end, to her there was nothing else after Romeo.
Don’t jump the gun on your feelings. Take your time when it comes to the “L” word. Otherwise you end up a giant, emo mess, just like Romeo and Juliet. Or the subject of a My Chemical Romance song.
There has been talk amongst the music industry. Many violinists have been seen out in the streets wreaking havoc, starting riots over one simple aspect.
“We just want something more to play,” stammered Harry Wang. “We just feel incomplete, like something’s missing. We want to play harder music! We want it louder and faster. For so long, we’ve been playing the same old, boring music. At first it’s beautiful, but then it gets repetitive.”
Many other violinists feel this way too; they’ve rebelled against their conductors and have started an underground clan. So far, this exclusive group is going up rapidly in numbers and we’ve got our best reporters on the case. Check back in a few days to see how this is progressing.
Tightlacing: the practice of wearing sturdy, tight corsets to temporarily change the wearer’s figure. Otherwise known as corset training and waist training, can prove useful. Many women do it, some want a tiny waist, and others want that greatly desired hourglass shaped body. Tightlacing can be done in the wearer’s home or gradually with professional help.
These corsets are generally made of a flexible material such as cloth or leather and stiffened by inserting boning (generally steel or whalebone) into the channels of the cloth or leather. Plastic can sometimes be used for a more lightweight corset. Other boning materials used are ivory, wood and cane. Typically, corsets are held together in the back with lacing. Women are usually laced by their maids.
Wearing corsets all the time can prove adequate. It gives the wearer great posture, helps them lose weight by making it difficult to eat as much, while giving them their choice of body shape. It can also alter the breast line by raising them and shaping them and flattening the stomach. Many tightlacers try to get their waists as small as possible, where others stop once they reach their desired measurements.
Tightlacing can be quite dangerous if not done properly and progressively. Some short term problems include shortness of breath and faintness, indigestion, and chafing of the skin. These short term effects are achieved by lacing too tight, too fast. More longterm effects is that the corset can push the wearer’s lower ribs inward, thus internal organs are pushed closer together, away from their original positions. The volume of the lungs is taken away which causes shallow breathing from the top of the lungs. It is also possible to fracture some of the ribs.
A steady, tedious and uncomfortable process, is it worth it in the end? For that to- die-for figure? Women, you be the judge!
Oh, and while you’re interested, here’s a place worth checking out!
